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All of a sudden my vision became so clear -- everything I needed was right here before me. So pressed to let you know just how you made me feel; I never had a feeling that's so real controoooool meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Thursday. 4.3.08 3:01 am
"Would you--.. I mean, if I--.. " Feigning an unclear throat, I pause to collect my thoughts.

“Caitlin,” I began.. (kind of. As the second syllable escaped my lips, I heard my own voice dip to that of a soft whisper. I scoffed to myself -- mostly out of disbelief that even after almost a decade, this woman with whom most would consider as clear a juxtaposition to me as concrete is to water, brought back my stutters. )

“If I don’t become a writer.. If I neglect to fulfill this dream I keep locked away in my heart.. If I neglect me, would you consider me a failure?”

In retrospect, I see that the question I posed to the girl was one of redundancy; however, as I get closer and closer to going to law school and trading in my pen and paper for the opportunity to point at suspects and bellow“ OBJECTION!!!!!!!”over and over again--- .. I get closer to trading in my pen and paper, two constants in my life that are forever intertwined with the woman who strips away my façade with a mere glance.

As previously documented in this hurh nutang, my childhood friend Caitlin has been coaxing me to abandon my Jack McCoy aspirations and to do what she believes I do best: write. She doesn’t realize that I’m only a fairly decent writer --- on a good day.

“You will be a writer, Jon,” she says with conviction. “You may not write to make a living, or anything like that, but you will always be a writer. It’s everything about you--- the way you act, the way you speak.. The way you think. You think like a writer.”

At this point, I’m getting ready to do damage to my vocal chords with an “ OBJECTION! “ when I realize that I had been analyzing every word she told me--- editing her grammar, syntax, all of that. Even when she was done talking and it was my turn to speak up, I found myself debating which words would work best with whatever clause I would use to express myself.

I shrugged.

In other news, I’ll try to update more frequently in the upcoming weeks. Hopefully

RYN: lol
my friend makeit for me cause i wanted vampire... :D
» jolenesiah on 2008-04-03 03:50:23

huh, I haven't heard about caitlin in a while. how have you and her been? and I like the way you write, Jon. even when you don't think it's very good, I still enjoy reading what you have to say. it's worded a lot better than most others I know.

re: tell me about it. I'm very ready for there to be a more permanent alternative to gasoline. these prices are killing me. $3.35 for one gallon of gas? ... no wonder I don't have much of a life outside of work and home. lol
» LostSoul13 on 2008-04-03 04:43:34

She's right. Look at this entry and tell me you can't write. I guess the question is why WOULDN'T you want to be a writer? Because you want to be more involved with law? It's tough though...I want to get involved with some writing-related field, probably journalism, but I actually want to make a living off of it. Meaning I'll be living off of potatoes for a while, but eh.
» The-Muffin-Man on 2008-04-03 07:31:24


yea i also want to try out the human tetris game but i'm just wondering why no girls participants.
» renaye on 2008-04-03 09:50:10

Thank you!
And good luck with figuring out what you want to do. My brother is trying to persue law school at university of Washington, it's a difficult program, and journalism would be amazing too. I think my boyfriend wants to do something in that area. You're a good writer, so i think you'd do really well with whatever you chose to do
» PinkPanther08 on 2008-04-03 02:18:30

I actually live about 20-30 minutes away from UW. He hasn't gotten in yet, he just graduated from WSU. He either wants to enter in UW or Seattle University. Do you already attend college? Or are you looking into it?
» PinkPanther08 on 2008-04-03 02:23:50

I think you're a writer, too.
Going to Austin in a week!

So are you, or I'll be upset.
» bananaface on 2008-04-04 07:28:49

dude, being a lawyer is all about writing. Reading, writing, and following and assessing gaps of logic. Being a lawyer means reading, writing, writing and more writing. That's why a lot of English majors become lawyers. The only difference is that when you're a lawyer you're writing persuasively, coherently, and analytically. When you're an author or something then you're writing for style. But the lack of coherence and logic are the things that I think most often trouble a young writer who thinks that books should flow off the brain naturally, and don't concern themselves enough with structure. Some of my favorite authors started out as lawyers, training themselves in the fundamentals of analytical writing and earning lots of money so that when they turned their energy to creative work then they were ready both financially and skills-wise to make a contribution. So I say to you: becoming a lawyer isn't about laying your pen down. It's about picking up your pen for the causes of others.

As far as fossil fuels, it will take a really long time for us to run out of them. They make calculations on the reservoirs we have today and the methods we have today, but the industry is constantly coming up with new methods of extraction as well as finding new fields. Like right now they're devising ways to drill oil shale in Wyoming, because oil shale has a lot of oil in it but before now they've not been drilling it because they can get other fields easier and cheaper. The Russians have been thinking about drilling up off the Northern coast of Russia, since because the ice there is less constant now-a-days, it's more feasible to put rigs up there. But, assuming that fossil fuels will someday run out, nuclear power is the best source of energy yet invented. Unlike biofuels and the like which take a tremendous amount of energy to produce, and which allow energy and food to draw from the same product (which will make food more expensive and less available to starving nations), all you need for nuclear power is a uranium mine (or plutonium, or whatever) and then the energy you get back from the process is INCREDIBLE. Nuclear power gets a bad rap because of "nuclear melt-downs" and all that, but those only happen under extreme mismanagment and they're very rare. If you consider how much coal plants pollute the atmosphere and how many coal plants you would need to equal one nuclear reactor, you can start to see how much better nuclear power would be for the environment. The only problem is the waste that is produced... if only we could develop better rockets... we could launch all this waste into the sun!

Fusion is just another kind of nuclear reaction- instead of fission, where you take large atomic nuclei and make them smaller, you take small atomic nuclei and make them larger. In order to make fusion happen you have to have atoms flying around at ridiculous speeds. Usually in order for this to happen you need sun-like temperatures. That means that in order to make power from fusion we need to put IN a lot of energy, something we're trying to avoid having to do.

I think there is a future in solar power, just simply by making all of our normal building materials into solar panels. They've already done this with roof shingles, but they're very inefficient. Currently, the only feasible replacement for fossil fuels is nuclear power, which is ironically another fossil fuel. But I don't think that means we can't spend money on solar power and all that other stuff. I'd say, for our lifetimes (except in France and Japan where they're already nuclear) the greatest source of energy will continue to be oil and gas.
» Zanzibar on 2008-04-05 02:06:33

It would be nice if you could find a lawyer that does what you are thinking about doing. Is there any way that you can find one through your contacts at the rape center?
» Zanzibar on 2008-04-06 10:24:42

Aw, I have?

I haven't seen it yet, but I'm hoping to watch it tonight.
» Chloefoxx on 2008-04-13 02:34:07

my anger at you is astounding.
and i'm not sure if i used that word correctly...
» bananaface on 2008-04-18 12:29:24

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