'For goodness sake, we need a break'
Thursday. 10.19.06 2:21 am
I've been walking around all day, thinking
I think I have a problem
I think I think too much
"I don't know, Samira.. it's pretty late," was my reply to her invitation watch a movie at 12:30 AM. I had just gotten off the phone with Caitlin, and was ready for bed.
"I know, but it's one of those scary ones and I really don't wanna' watch it on my own. Look, you can come over tonight and spend the night after the movie. I've got an extra blanket and you can sleep on the floor."
I scoffed. Sleep on the floor? As though I'd--
"Or in my bed."
I pulled on an over shirt 'cause it gets cold down here at night, and some flip flops before stepping out. My roommates were having a poker game, so around 15 people were waiting outside my bedroom door. I think making my away across the
"living area" presented more danger than walking to Sam's dormitory, with all the empty water bottles, pizza boxes and people everywhere, but that's beside the point and the main story. It takes me a good five minutes to make my way up the four flights of stairs in her building, and another to walk down the hall. She was waiting outside her room for me though, so I didn't have to wait outside for long.
I'm sitting at the edge of her bed, huddled up against the wall while she lays beneath the sheets. My previous entry talks about the last time I was in her bed, just in case any of the two and a half people who read these entries are wondering if it's the same girl. When the movie ends, I bolt. Thank 'er for the invitation, and make my way out the door and back to my bed ten minutes later at around 2 AM, with a class in 8 hours.
The conversation I had with Caitlin was one of the main reasons I opted not to spend the night. You know what its like when your head conflicts with your heart? Kind'a like when you want to eat that honey bun but you know its unhealthy for 'ya. Or, when you find someone you wish to devote all your heart to, but there are so many reasons in your head as to why you shouldn't. What was going on in my head then, and now, is akin to the trials faced within the parameters of the mind of Hamlet, debating "To be, or not to be," and much like Hamlet, there are blocking agents that prevent me from obtaining what I desire, which is to find happiness within the confines of "Love." And sitting up in her bed that night made me question if I could ever settle for anyone other than Caitlin. As of right now, it looks as though I may have to, thanks to those blocking agents I alluded to earlier. When it comes to her, it looks as though I have no choice but to wait outside for long.
Maybe the middle finger kid didn't really know what the middle finger meant. Maybe he thought it was just something similiar to thumbs up or something. Hahaha. All I know is that it was pretty funny to me. I guess it's because it wasn't really expected.
» eeerreneh on 2006-10-19 03:29:18
buenos dias I have to say, you're a good boy. Respect. You always have to be aware of those women inviting you to their boudoirs. Especially if they have boyfriends. Could be a siren, and then you'd be caught up in even more ancient literature than William Shakespeare. But seriously, man, 2 in the morning? Doesn't she know the concept of a 'school night'? School nights are for staying up until 2 in the morning doing hella work like woah. Just ask me, last night.
Well, I guess I didn't start that cycle of madness until my junior year of college... I guess there was an ancient time in the past where I did watch movies on weekdays... that time is gone now......
The animal in the Crocodile Hunter's arms is a wombat. I like to call it a "combat wombat" so watch out, or he'll come and get you. But they only live in Australia, so you'll have a little time to prepare as he makes his way here by plane. Though I've heard they can travel the speed of light.
» Zanzibar on 2006-10-19 09:28:08
I'm sorry. I had to laugh, it's really funny to me. But I commend you, you're a good guy. Therefore a great guy. Wanna go out? ;)
You rock--HIGH FIVE!
» Silver-dot- on 2006-10-19 10:06:59
Your entries always make me want to cry...
» little-b on 2006-10-19 11:27:26
Hahaha. I like how people either laugh or want to cry over your entries.
All I have to say is: hard. core. That's awesome. I know exactly what all of that is like and it's not easy to take the path you took. "Not easy" is an understatement, actually. The sucky part is the fact that you know this isn't the last time you'll be faced with something like this.
So, keep rockin' that noggin', my dear Hamlet. Seems to be workin' for ya. And uh, good luck with the ride-along tonight.
» elessar257 on 2006-10-19 12:19:35
i was suppose to be there when i applied at u of h but as of now im at hcc. i'll be transfering to u of h fall of 07.
» macyxhuynh on 2006-10-19 05:04:44
OKAY.
I have an entry in the making. I'll do it when I get home.
What happened to that girl's boyfriend?
I like you because you're not like most guys who probably would have made a move on her if she asked them to her room at 12am.
» (203.62.10.3) on 2006-10-19 07:19:03
Woops. That was from me.
» Sarah (203.62.10.3) on 2006-10-19 07:19:40
Thanks for sharing this dilated! I think it's just you are a Gentleman and you just don't want to admit it :). Yea, true you don't want to rush and true you don't want to get hurt. However; the truth is, you did the Gentleman thing and you are a cool Gentleman!
» JMC on 2006-10-20 03:09:19
I know, it's awful. He didn't have to wear it at first, but he kept licking (ew) and it was getting infected or something similar, so the vet said he should wear it.
We take it off at regular intervals though.
And the dentist is really nice! He always chats and compliments and laughs with my mum. He looks a bit like Dave. :)
» sarah on 2006-10-20 10:01:55
thank you.
u're deep.
*curtsy*
» laziewong on 2006-10-20 11:26:40
well i took the SATs a second time last week, i have a 4.14 overall gpa so far, but i'm horrible at writing essays. which reminds me, i need to get started on my college essay.. >.
» dis1girl on 2006-10-21 01:38:52
oh yeahh... and the poet i had to research was Ted Hughes.
» dis1girl on 2006-10-21 01:39:17
God Good question. The answer is actually 'no'. But for strange reasons. I'll think about exactly how I think about it and then maybe make a post about that. Because yeah, to hear any geologist talk, you'd think he was an atheist. But I think there are quite a few who aren't. And throughout history there have been tons of scientists who seem like they should be, but aren't. But the ones who are atheists are usually louder than the Christians. hmm... and also I doubt my faith sometimes for reasons which aren't geology-related. But I think that usually makes my faith stronger in the long run. I'll get back to you on that.
» Zanzibar on 2006-10-22 12:07:26
aw jon you are thirteen years old. in a good way. I am in arlington right now but seeing as it is 6-something PM, you are probably on your way back to school... as I should be.. but. blegh. I need a studio. No room to work on my masterpieces in that tiny dorm room. x.x ... You coming home for Thanksgiving? I am. Maybe we can chill then.
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» Donny (122.155.0.190) on 2011-07-08 04:42:38
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