Sunday. 9.3.06 10:01 pm
Why do I write
All of this passionate music tonight
When all that I wanted was you in my life
"Hey,.." I tilt my head up and reposition the phone so that my voice could be as clear as possible. "I love you. I know I don't say it much, but I really mean it."
"Hey,..." She imitates me, and I can feel her smile through the phone. She musters up some bravado and puts as much bass in her voice necessary to match my tone, "I love you too, Jon."
We had been on the phone for over two hours before we said our goodbyes. The last time I saw her, Michelle, not the one I was torturing myself over in the last entry(maybe more on that later,) was at her birthday party. I'd guess of the thirty or fourty people there, I knew five.. and of those five, I really knew two.. her, and another guy I've known since the 8th grade( the same year I met Michelle.) A few weeks ago I wrote an entry filled that foreshadowed my adventure at the party, an entry about fiestas not being my element(I prefer siestas.)
Long story short, I came, no one was there, so I went home to grab a text book and came back, everyone was there, I read, she complained, I mingled, I read, and I got into a conversation with a man over corporate controlled media manipulating the average american. The conversation was eventually broken up when the other people at the party said we were killing the mood. I think we were just killing their buzz.I left early. I gave her a diary for a gift, and she wrapped her arms around me for the last time before I walked away.
"Your writing.. its melancholic. I like it. Theres something about despair, tragedy, sadness, thats beautiful and your entries capture it." Funny. I knew my entries were wistful at times, but not to the degree where they'd be put in a catagory as ' Desperate,tragic,' and 'sad.' I guess the background doesn't exactly scream 'Happy Happy Joy Joy,' but maybe with a little help from the invisible one it'll yell 'Content.'
Which is what I am
I got my first paycheck, and the first person I remember calling was Caitlin to tell her I was gona' spend my money on booze and women and I could just hear her saying 'Whatever," in her head before I confessed I had no idea what I'd do with it.She knows me well enough to know I abstain from just about everything considered a vice. I was just with two of my three roommates on a way to a party before I decided to turn around and head back home. Wasted boys and girls, beer pong and free food may sound enticing.. but its not me.
Then again, I'm out of my element at parties.
i was just going to say... i thought you weren't into the whole booze thing. :) there's nothing wrong with a indulging in just a little bit? right? ;D
» little-b on 2006-09-04 12:10:57
Slow speed ticket I think...here in mn...you can get a ticket if you drive under the posted min speed limit, which is like 40mph. Hmm...so, I guess that driver didn't get a slow speeding ticket. :)
» little-b on 2006-09-04 12:27:03
free food would have been enough to persuade me!
of course we have old times. Next time you plan to come back to agg town let me know and I'll plan to come back too. You should REALLY visit me in denton. It's only an extra hour away.
maybe you SHOULD participate in a vice. I agree with little-b, even 'bad' things are good in moderation. That's not limited to booze and women, of course... but why don't you do somethin for yourself, jon? You deserve it. Indulge! life is out there waiting with all of it's choices. take advantage.
» of_your_mind on 2006-09-04 03:24:18
Alison Moroney is the horoscope lady for my local paper. She has a column every Sunday. I usually don't mind it, if it says good things. It also used to have my lucky colour and stuff as well. I didn't like her column this week though! Speaking of wasted girls and boys and beer et cetera; those are issues from the first half of 2005 that HAVE been confronted, thankyouverymuch Ms. Moroney!
And as for why she gets to make predictions... I don't know! How can they tell a real horoscope person from a phony one? Maybe she just makes something up every week.
P.S. I voted for you :D
And I get what you mean about really knowing someone. I always feel safer/more comfortable if I've known the person for ages (i.e. 8th grade).
» okidpokie on 2006-09-04 03:59:10
He was in my bed because in the morning when I get up for school, he goes and sleeps in my bed because he thinks its comfortable. Yeah I have one brother and one sister.
» your_in_safe_mode on 2006-09-04 02:33:23
Erm. About your comment. I can't tell Jesse I miss him. He commited suicide on aug. 8th. o_o;
» Le_Jes on 2006-09-06 07:01:36
Yes, I'm going to TCC first.
» your_in_safe_mode on 2006-09-06 08:58:37
Ack. Ah, sorry for the terribly late reply...school has been chop chop and quickly detracting from my spare time :- Parties? Meh, not my thing either. People just...stand around. And talk. Or go to closets, which personally doesn't suit me.
Anyways, good luck on the NWF thing, although people have been pestering me on what we're supposed to be writing about... ??? Lol I don''t know what to tell them...unless you have any ideas? Meh, whatevr, winging it just fine with me haha.
Cya round.
» The-Muffin-Man on 2006-09-08 12:48:43
I really like your new layout! :D
Also, Alison Moroney's predictions have gotten better (and more accurate!). She said Capricorns will be planning a trip interstate or overseas...
» (144.134.117.83) on 2006-09-09 04:51:43
you know even though you made your background white... it still feels gloomy around here.
No, you're actually the only person from real life who has my nutang addy. You introduced me and I like the idea that no one knows about it and I can write what I'm actually thinking without worrying about it, you know? And I know you don't judge me so I got nuthin to worry 'bout. :)
I did what you told me not to do.
but I don't regret it yet.
ps- I hate the baboons. I DO NOT HAVE ROBOTIC TENDANCIES!
» of_your_mind on 2006-09-09 10:03:35
but the free food sounds nice. =P I like to go to parties sometimes just to watch all the silly people doing stupid stuff. But that sounds mean now that I've said it. =
Is the more "boxed" layout doin' okay for ya? I've tried, but I don't know why it won't sit to the left - it somehow keeps centering itself. Anyways...
Hope you have a good weekend!
» invisible on 2006-09-09 12:21:15
Is this a new layout??? Cute!
» little-b on 2006-09-10 01:09:35
I wish I could walk but I live about 5 miles from campus. It would probably take an hour. PLUS it's Alabama so it's damn hot.
» Chloefoxx on 2006-09-11 09:36:56
i wasn't born under the party element either, your not alone
» crochetmama on 2006-09-14 10:19:30
No, I didn't get tickets in time. I watched it from the comfort and safety of my house. I did get stuck in gameday traffic though.
» Chloefoxx on 2006-09-16 11:16:17
thanks for the w.b. i remember you :]]
heehee.
» hellasamira on 2006-09-17 07:50:51
Ooooh, love the new look, tresh chic!
I don't take well to threats of violence. That bartender best watch his back.
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